Ok, so I’m going to tell you (all 4 of you) about my new gig.

First, a clarification…it’s not that I wasn’t telling anyone because I was trying to be a dick because we all know that I never have to try to be a dick. I just wake up and…BAM!!…I’m a dick. Instead, I actually was trying to decide what I could tell you without saying something I shouldn’t.

See, there’s a level of confidentiality involved here at my new place. So while I’m not necessarily privy to where they’re keeping the alien bodies from the Roswell UFO crash, I do have access to information that my new employer would prefer I not give out…even to people as awesome as yourselves.

Please understand that I don’t tell you this because I think it’s cool, or because I’m full of myself…I actually think it’s a big pain in the ass, but such is life.

So the skinny on the new job is this…essentially, I’m tracking gas turbine parts and determining the lifespan of those parts.

Every part in a turbine is individually numbered and every part is tracked from one turbine to another. So that at any time I can tell where a part is, how long it’s been in service, how many times it’s been repaired, where it’s been, and whether or not it’s currently in use somewhere.

Now imagine if you will, a gas turbine…think about how complicated those things must be. Now multiply that level of complication by a factor of four and that’s how complicated those things really are.

After my first three weeks I’ve come to a sobering conclusion…I just thought I paid attention to stuff before. At the risk of sounding like a commercial for MTV’s This is the Diary of…, I thought I knew but I had no idea.

I will say that it’s a nice change of pace to look at the clock and say:

“Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick! Is it really 2:45 already? I get to go home in an hour and 15 minutes!”

As opposed to:

“Fuck me. It’s only 8:45…will someone shoot me in the back of the fucking head already and make this nightmare end?”

I’m also working with a group of people who all genuinely dig what they’re doing and are sincere in making sure I have complete access to the vast amounts of knowledge they have available. And I seem to be doing really well to boot…or at least my trainer is telling that I’m doing very well.

But the greatest thing about my new gig is what I was told on my very first day…

It doesn’t matter how fast it gets done. It only matters that it’s right. There’s no deadline here, so things take as long as they take.

Do you have any idea how long I’ve been waiting to hear those words uttered in respect to my job? Here’s a little hint for you…it’s in the neighborhood of about twelve years. And yes, that’s the exact number of years I was at CCM for those of you “not in the know”.

And the second best thing about my new gig? The hours.

I asked what my hours were, and I was told “eight”. See, they don’t care when I come in, as long as I work eight hours. I can come in at 7am, take an hour and a half lunch everyday, and no one would give a shit as long as I worked my expected eight hours.

So right now I’m going in at 7:30 and getting off at 4pm every…single…fucking…day and It’s glorious. The clock hits 4pm, and I turn off my shit, push in my chair, walk the fuck out to my car, and come home through absolutely zero traffic on Woodruff Road.

I can make fucking plans again people! I can say, “Hey Sappy Chick, why don’t we meet at Monterey at 4:15, go shopping and then catch a movie?” and I never have to worry about whether or not I’m going to have to work late, or whether some inconsequential fucking nothing of a newsletter “absolutely must go to print/fax tonight”.

It’s a revealtion for sure, and it’s sweet validation for something I’ve said for years. Please allow me to quote myself from my very own “Quotable Cinlach” section:

Me : There’s no reason why I shouldn’t be able to work my alloted time and just go home. I can still be a productive, important, and contributive employee under those circumstances. If not then the fault lies with the company and their philosphy and not with me and mine. People do it everyday, all throughout not only our country but the entire world. Everyone knows it works, so why doesn’t it do so here?

Well guess what boys and girls…it does work and I’ve found the proof that it does. Not every place in the world makes you work 9 hour days three weeks out of the month along with 3 Saturdays every single month.

I can actually come home and do stuff around the house without rushing to fix dinner and then crashing into a heap. I’m living again…and I’d nearly forgotten what that was like. I have time to do laundry again for fuck’s sake. It’s 9:45 and I’ve been home almost 5 hours instead of only 2 and a half…I cannot stress how awesome this is.

I don’t dress like a bum every day, I wear nice clothes, and I shave…I actually fucking shave EVERY SINGLE MORNING people.

So I guess if I had to sum up my new gig in one succinct little word, then that word would be “liberating”.

I can only hope that everyone else ends up as lucky as it seems I’ve ended up, because being liberated is a magnificent fucking thing.

Look!

A new post by Cinlach, and his last one was simply a picture of his old desk at his old job and he was standing on the cusp of embarking on a new career. That means his next post will be about his new job and all that. Right?

Wrong.

Who wants to be predictable? “Not I”, said the Cinlach.

So instead, here’s a list of my weekly comic purchases…

Nova #14

I bought the first issue and really loved it, unfortunately the next couple of issues sold out due to being underprinted, which is a common occurance in the comics world. As I was kicking around HeroesCon in Charlotte last weekend I happened upon some issues for $1 each and bought them. The series was only up to #14 and so I finally finished up my missing issues and read the whole run last night…it’s pretty fucking good. I’ve always loved Nova…he’s had three other series before this one…so seeing him basically be one of the baddest motherfuckers in the Galaxy is geek bliss for me.

Thor: Reign of Blood #1

Holy shit. I’m digging this Matt Fraction dude quite a bit. This isn’t really the Thor we know and love due to a story convention that’d just take WAY to long to explain here. Essentially this is a story about how much shit the Asgardians don’t take from anyone. The queen of the Frost Giants comes to Odin and demands Odin grant her a gift as part of reparations for an affront Odin did to her. The Asgardian smiths present a broadsword second only to Thor’s enchated hammer. So Odin takes the sword and chops the bitch in half when she shows up to collect her “gift”. So the lesson here is don’t fuck with Odin, he doesn’t like it.

1985 #2

I don’t even know where to begin. It’s awesome. The Marvel Universe invades the real world as a young boy named Toby discovers that the new owner of an old mansion near his house appears to be Doctor Doom. Other “fictional” Marvel characters start popping up all over the place and it’s all capped by Toby happening up on a Hulk/Juggernaut fight in the forest near the mansion. This is the second coming of Marvels…mark my words.

Mighty Avengers #15

So we finally find out how those dirty shape-shifting Skrull fuckers are taking over by assuming the identities of the Marvel heroes. More importantly, we know how long it’s been going on. So guys like Hank Pym and Jessica Drew have only been Skrulls for a couple of years and not decades like we were all dreading. John Romita Jr. guests on this issue so you know it’s gotta rock hard.

New Avengers #42

See description above only the art on this issue is by the amazing Jim Cheung. This guy should be a fucking superstar…why isn’t he?

Invicible #49, 50, Universe Primer #1

At HeroesCon I was fortunate enough to score essentially the entire Invincible run thanks to the amazing generosity of the writer, Robert Kirkman. He gave me the Invincible trades #1-4, and 6 along with Walking Dead #3 and 5 (which are collected editions of the original books for those of you not in the know) and I’m completely hooked. I worked my way through the trades over the last week and I know I’m buying this book even though I’ve not read up to the point where #49 picks up.

Also, speaking of HeroesCon, I’m going to list the issues I picked up out of 3 for $1 bins just so you’ll all know exactly how big a loser I really am…

• Amazing Spider-Man #183, 189, 190
• Avengers #227, 230, 236, 237, 241, 243, 245, 247, 249, 250, 251, 263, 270, 271, 272, 278, 279, 280, 281, 282, 283, 284, 285, 319
• Captain Marvel #32, 48, 49, 59, 60, 61
• The Comet #2, 5, 6, 8, 13, 14, 15, 16
• Crucible #5, 6
• The Defenders #40, 44, 47, 48, 56, 57, 59, 68, 71, 72, 93, 94, 97, 98
• The Fly #2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 13, 14, 16
• The Jaguar #1, 4, 5, 6, 8, 12, 13, 14
• Legend of the Shield #2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 14, 15, 16
• Marvel Premiere #33 (Solomon Kane bitches!!)
• Marvel Universe I #7, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14
• The Micronauts I #31
• The Micronauts II #4
• Moon Knight II #3
• Nexus #22
• Nova I #19
• Scout #3, 5, 6
• Scout: War Shaman #5
• Squadron Supreme #1, 2, 5
• War Dancer #4, 6
• Uncanny X-Men #176, 281, 284, 285, 286, 287, 288, 291
• X-Men & Alpha Flight #1
• X-Men & The Micronauts #2

And finally…my proudest acquistion of the day

• DC Special Series #27…Batman vs. The Hulk…$8

I’m not going to miss the fact that working in this office in the summertime is like spending 9 hours slaving away in the Devil’s nutsack.

I shit you not, I fully expect to see Kathy Lee Gifford any day now, bringing in a load of 10 year old Indonesian children and forcing them to make tennis shoes for 17 cents an hour for Nike and Adidas.

For me to sit here and say that the air-conditioner units in that office “don’t work” would be tantamount to me saying that Communism “might have a couple of problems”.

I feel safe in assuming that whoever it was responsible for the installation of the HVAC units was not Bob Villa, nor was it Norm Abrhams. I suspect that it could’ve possibly been people who weren’t even HVAC technicians in any sense of the concept at all.

See it’s like this…unless someone drains the excess water out of the catch pans almost daily, the units will either shut off or freeze up to such an extent that they cease to work at all. Whichever one the units choose to do, it’s not producing what anyone would be able to call pleasant working environment.

So when it’s 100 degrees outside, and the fucking air conditioners stop working at 8am, it kinda makes things pretty fucking uncomfortable right about 2pm through until the end of the day.

Luckily for us (??) that means we’ll be here until 5:30 or 6pm tonight because God knows we need to push and work as hard as possible for virtually no reason whatsoever. I wish I was kidding, but sadly I’m not.

As of this writing, I’m literally teetering on the edge of just clocking the fuck out and sitting in the only cool place left in the building (and by cool I mean sub-80 degrees) which is the break room.

Of course the only problem with that is that I’ve still got about another 3 and a half hours until Sappy Chick gets done, and since our office is run like a kindergarten, the excessively large and unnecessary 42 inch Plasma HDTVs that our former President just had to have installed, are now sitting completely unused because no one was willing to simply say what was and wasn’t acceptable to watch on them. So instead of adding those guidelines, the decision was made to turn them off entirely.

So yeah, there’s nothing quite as humorous as watching a company spend 6 to 8 grand on TV’s only to decide that they can’t be bothered with monitoring them and deciding what’s kosher to view and what isn’t.

I mean, just turning them off entirely and wasting that significant investment is an infinitely wiser decision…right?

So if I do decide to finally just say, “Fuck it.” and head for the safety of the break room then I won’t have anything to do except sit there and look at those ridiculously expensive TV’s that I can’t turn on.

So anyway, while I sit here and sweat like some San Salvadorian sweat shop worker, I dream of the day when I’ll have a climate controlled work environment.

I may be nervous about my new vocation, but I’m anything but dreading getting to it already.

Surely my new office will have air-conditioners that weren’t salvaged from a junkyard and hobbled together like they belonged more in a Mad Max post-apocalyptic feature then a “professional” corporate environment.

Because if they don’t then I think I’m going to grow my hair and beard and disappear into the woods to live as a hermit. Because if I’m going to be hot and uncomfortable all day long then I damn sure don’t plan on putting up with the amount of bullshit I do on a regular basis.

I’ve seen Grizzly Adams on TV…I can totally make it work.

Since 95% of my readers are folks I work with, most of you already know that I’ve somehow managed to bullshit another company into not only hiring me, but giving me a decent wage as well.

Please don’t ask how I managed to pull off this herculean accomplishment, sadly it’s an ancient Irish secret and if I told you then I’d have to kill you.

Basically it’s just as astonishing to me as it must be to you.

So while I’m very relieved, and I’m extremely excited to continue my career journey in a direction other then towards an impassable ravine surrounded by a seemingly unending desert, I also find myself becoming very nostalgic about the last 12 years of my life. Specifically, the experiences I’ve had and the people I’ve been lucky enough to have met along the way.

First and foremost in my heart is my wife Carla. She and I met 12 years ago and over the course of our working together somehow one day she looked at me and said, “You know, he seems really nice. I wonder if he’d like to go out sometime?”.

God knows I’ve tried to discovered how I got so lucky on many occasions without success. Especially considering the first time she asked me out I shot her down. That’s right, she worked up the nerve to ask me out, and I repaid her interest by shooting her down like an encroaching enemy figher jet over the no-fly zone.

Luckily for me, she remained interested despite my stupidity and I eventually put my emotional hurt behind me and took her hand. We’ve been holding hands ever since, and every day I thank the universe for making someone so wonderful for me to spend my life with.

I truly don’t feel as though I deserve her, but I’m pleased beyond words that she thinks I do.

The day it was announced that we were all losing our jobs, all I could think about was that I wouldn’t get to see her everyday at work anymore. More then anything else, losing this job is costing me time with the one person I love above all others…and that sucks hard…and not in that nice way either.

I also think about the friends I’ve been fortunate enough to make over the last decade plus. A number that certainly would’ve been greater had I only allowed myself to open up and be the person that I really am, as opposed to the persona I adopted in order to stay focused on my daily tasks.

See, there’s me, the real me, and then there’s “James”. Up until recently “James” was who I was at the office. James wasn’t there to be buddies, he wasn’t there to chit chat, he wasn’t there to fuck around. James was there to get his work done as quickly and as accurately as time allowed, and he was single-minded in his goals. James wasn’t interested in your problems or your bullshit. He was interested in getting paid and going home.

To put it bluntly, James was an enormous asshole. But he’s only a small part of who I am. While everyone has that side to their personality, I sadly let that part of mine be the only aspect most people I work with ever saw. So the impression most people at work will be left of me is of “James” and not Danny.

Danny is silly, goofy, funny. Danny loves to talk and be loud. Danny is warm and genuine. Danny, while always direct and to the point, is generally not an enormous asshole.

So as a result, I’ve missed out on getting to know some really good people. People who deserved more then I gave them, and I regret that.

I’ve done what I can to try and be more “me” and less “James” all while trying to get the ridiculous amount of work facing me every month done. I think I’ve been marginally successful, but no doubt I could’ve done a better job at being a little more accessible.

I guess that with the end now staring me squarely in the face I find myself turning my head to look at the road behind me in an effort to avoid the stony, and unyielding gaze of the future.

And in looking back I see a lot of good times, a lot of good friends, and a lot of things I wish I’d done differently.

All I can hope to do is carry that all stuff with me into the next chapter of my life, and to thank those of you who walked along that road with me for being a part of it.

I won’t forget the lessons I’ve learned, both good and bad, and I’ll put the knowledge I’ve gained to good use.

So thanks for being there with me folks, it’s been a hell of a ride.

We’re about 2 months out from finding out that the place my wife and I have been employed for 12 and 13 years respectively has been sold, and is closing up shop and headed to Overland Park, Kansas.

What’s changed? Well…to be brutally honest, not a whole helluva lot.

We’re still lumbering through production cycles that should be a cakewalk, only to nearly self-destruct at the end of the month…you know, like we normally do.

Despite the promises of “it’ll get better” or “we’re going to overstaff so it’s not so taxing”, our work environment remains like a headless chicken after ingesting a large chuck of South Carolina’s leading export, Methamphamines. That is to say, hectic to a near comical degree…you know, like it normally is.

We continue to spend money on stupid shit that’ll be uninstalled in 60 days, like server upgrades and keycard entry systems, and have stopped spending money on little things like food, drinks, office supplies, and other essentials…you know, like we normally do.

People are leaving earlier then they anticipated, even after being told they’d receive at least 30 days notice, but of course not receiving it. Because as we all know, in our office communication is a concept so foreign to us it’s akin to nuclear physics manuals written in ancient Egyptian…you know, like it normally is.

I don’t know that I would call my current state so much “surprised” by these developments, as much as I’m “not surprised” by these developments.

Every day I stare at customer folders containing hundreds of dollars worth of custom content that appear as though they were devoured by Bigfoot, shitted out during a fit of intestinal distress, run over by a monster truck, re-consumed by albino wolf rats, shitted back out again with great vengeance and furious anger, set on fire, and then stomped out with steel toed work boots outfitted with meat tenderizers on the soles.

If there was ever one symptom of the piss-poor state of our company, then it’d be those customer folders.

I told a coworker that those folders are exactly like the things that drove the Roman Empire into the ground almost 2,000 years ago.

Now stay with me here…I can quantify that statement, but to do so I’m going to get deep.

Just the way you like it…RAWR!

So anyway, those folders are “infrastructure”…which is to say they’re like the roads and aquaducts of ancient Roman society. When Rome was in it’s glory, great care was made to maintain those roads and aquaducts. Those were the things that made it possible for Rome to prosper as it did.

But once the Roman government and citizenry became more interested in subjugating one another, installing a new leader every 5 years, or watching those unlucky fucking Christians get chucked to the lions in the coliseum, the upkeep of those vital infrastructures fell to the wayside.

Suddenly, water didn’t flow as freely though the bathhouses, or it was corrupted by disease from a decaying animal 20 miles upstream. The roads became rutted and bumpy, causing havoc for merchants and travelers both to and from Rome.

Those failing infrastructures were the slowly tolling death-knell of the Roman Empire…and because it happened in degrees, over an extended period of time, once it was seen as a problem it was far too costly or impractical to repair.

Those customer folders are EXACTLY the same thing.

They are the pipelines that allow the water and commerce to enter our Empire. And as soon as they fell into disrepair and neglect, and no one chose to take the time to fix them, our course was set.

We were all too busy doing the work contained in the folders, or reacting to the customers that the folders represented instead of predicting their needs and anticipating our actions, that we became negligent in maintaining our vital infrastructure…just as the Roman’s had before us.

I’m totally serious about this…you want to know the health of any company, or any office in America today? All you have to do is check out their practices, and their infrastructures. If they’re falling apart or shabby then it’s just like rot inside a tomato.

It will eat it’s way through the organization if not handled promptly.

It was all there, right in front of Management the whole time…and no one cared enough to take five fucking minutes to go, “Damn…these folders are important and they’re being held together by staples, white-out, packing tape, and stickers stuck on top of other stickers. Perhaps we should address this problem. Keeping those folders in good order might help us in our jobs and therefore increase our productivity.”

But no, they had to keep basing the future of our company on the business model and practices of our competitor (which in case you don’t realize it, is an incredibly bad idea), spending $15,000 on 7 flat-screen TV’s, buying 3 leather couches, repainting the offices, installing a popcorn machine and soda fountain, painting the bathrooms 2 different colors within a 4 month period, and basically just spending money on anything and everything EXCEPT what was most important…securing new customers and allowing the rest of the employees a chance to breathe between Production cycles.

I went on an interview a couple of weeks ago, and during the process the following conversation took place:

Interviewer: Now I feel as though I must tell you that there will be some overtime required with this position should we chose to offer it to you. Will that be a problem for you?

Cinlach: I don’t think so. How much overtime are we talking here? Can I get an example of what scenarios I might be likely to experience as an employee here?

Interviewer: Well, at least once a quarter every member of my team is asked to work an extra hour a night for a period usually not over one week, but it sometimes does go into a week and a half. Would that be something that might cause you problems?

Cinlach: Well, considering I’ve been working nine hour days, and then two to three Saturday’s a month for the past 9 months non-stop, I can’t imagine as though that’d be too much of a hardship for me to bear.

Interviewer: Good grief! How much overtime have you had in the last 12 months?

Cinlach: Well, I’m not going to give out a dollar amount but let’s just say that it’s around 15 to 20% of my annual salary.

Interviewer: So then I guess just one or two weeks a quarter would seem like a vacation by comparison.

Cinlach: It would indeed sir, it would indeed.

So while this is a bit of a rambler as far as blog posts go, I guess the ultimate message is that things are, in the immortal words of David Byrne, “Same as they ever were, same as they ever were”.

By the way, my hip is fucked up again…hoorah.

The first thing my physical therapist asked when I walked into his office last week was, “Have you been under any stress recently Mr. Cinlach?”

I looked him right in the eye and laughed like a man gone insane.

“You could say that” was all I managed to get out between fits of chuckling and wiping away tears of laughter.

Advance warning…this post will only make sense to about 5 people total, many apologies for the exclusivity contained herein.

Dear Chicken Shit Commentators,

I’d like to take a moment to say sincerely, and with all the feeling that my cold, blackened little heart can muster…FUCK YOU.

You’ve been whining, crying, plotting, and scheming for years and now you finally got it. A great person is no longer with us and I’m sure you’re thrilled shitless.

So let me take this opportunity to lay a little challenge out for your worthless asses…now is the time to step up and show us all what you can do!

I mean, isn’t the person who’s now gone the sole reason for your decent into obscurity? Isn’t that person responsible for you’re being “passed over” in favor of someone else?

Well they’re not in the picture anymore baby! So let’s see you step the fuck up and put your motherfucking money where your motherfucking mouth is.

No, really…I’m being totally serious. Take one step forward, and let’s see you implement all these great ideas you’ve been forced to sit on for the last 5 years.

You know, the ones that would improve productivity based on banning excessive gum snapping, audible ice chewing, and noisy cellphone vibration settings. I’m sure once you finally get your say in how things will be run the whole company will magically turn around and become a real life version of Walt Disney land.

The sun will always shine brightly, the birds will always sing sweetly, children will laugh and play, and rose petals will fall from the sky. It’ll be a paradise on earth, a place of joy everlasting…and all shall recognize your greatness, and how unjustly you were pushed aside by the evils of “them”.

So come on bitches, prove yourselves!

It’s not even remotely possible that you could be just a bunch of hot air spewing, bullshit posturing assholes…is it?

But wait…is that hesitation I sense? Are you not ready to ascend unto greatness? Haven’t you been preparing for this very day? The day that you, the worthiest of us all…finally get to stand on the mountaintop and lead the charge into battle.

I mean, this is what you’ve wanted all along right?

Seriously then, step the fuck up then and let’s see those leadership qualities you’ve been forced to contain by the injustices of “them”.

You people are so completely full of shit…the whole fucking bunch of you. If this person stays, they’re an asshole…if they complain about the situation we all find ourselves in, they’re an asshole…and if they decide they’ve had enough and move on with their lives, they’re an asshole.

I submit this for consideration, I humbly submit that YOU are the asshole here, not them.

So please, if you can somehow manage to tear yourselves away from leaving punk-ass anonymous comments on the Greenville News website then by all means let’s see you back up all that talk with some fucking action.

I dare you.

You know, unless you’re afraid of confirming what most everyone already knows about you, that you’re an incompetent, bumbling pack of jackasses who’re only capable of sowing discord while hiding behind an anonymous complaint to HR or a carefully obscured website comment.

If we’d had the misfortune of having you in charge over the past years we’d be so completely fucked right now that it’d make our current situation look like a fucking summer camp picnic.

So, I guess what I’m really trying to say here is “FUCK YOU”.

FUCK YOU and your self-righteous attitude.

FUCK YOU and all your constant scheming and plotting.

FUCK YOU and your unwarranted and undeserved self-importance.

FUCK YOU and your pack of slathering sycophant cronies.

Basically, FUCK YOU and everything you stand for.

I cannot wait to see how you spin this situation to be the fault of a person who’ll no longer be there to defend themselves. That’s a very brave way to handle the situation I might add…very pussy-esque and very true to form. I’ve got to give you props for being consistent at least.

A someone who, while you were sitting on your fat ass at home licking clean yet another tub of lard, was at the office virtually every weekend away from their family. A someone who gave every ounce of effort they had to make sure we got through the month as planned. A someone who put all they had into everything they did. A someone who put the needs of our customers and the security of their employees ahead of themselves.

A someone who’ll eventually end up at a company who deserves their talents and abilities, and a someone who’ll end up making more money in a month then you bring home in a whole fucking quarter. A someone who’ll come home from work everyday with a sense of accomplishment and pride in the job they did.

All things I doubt you’ll ever get to experience as you lumber through the years left in your “career” as a perpetual victim and a chronic difficulty.

So again, FUCK YOU.

Now before I get accused of being a hypocrite, and of doing the exact same thing as the people I’m so extraordinarily sick to death of, let me say this to my potential detractors…

Unlike those that I’m verbally ripping the throat out of, I have ZERO problem with standing toe to toe with them and unloading point blank with my expletive filled and righteous barrage, and watching those sweet, delectable tears well up in their eyes.

It’d be like a child’s Christmas wish come true…you honestly have no fucking idea.

The difference here is that I, unlike those I’m so extremely upset with, have the decency and common sense to keep that shit out of the office. We don’t need it right now and things are difficult enough as it is without my going off like Hiroshima crossed with a volcano on steroids on someone who, let’s face it, just isn’t worth all the fucking trouble it’d cause.

See, while their mode of operation is to whisper, allude, spread rumors, and basically act like immature 4th graders on a sugar high, my approach is one of quiet disdain and simmering fury. I know the appropriate outlets for my anger and indignation. Perhaps before the end I’ll get a chance to vent a little of the displeasure I feel for them, perhaps not…I’ll survive either way.

But if there is a God out there in the vast Universe around us, he’ll give me the satisfaction of at least finally seeing one or perhaps all of these chuckleheads not only shoot themselves in the foot, but blow the goddamn thing off clear up to their fucking knee.

I understand that they have families, and bills, and blah blah blah. But you know what? I don’t fucking care.

They didn’t care about the ramifications their juvenile and petty behavior might have on everyone else around them, so why exactly should I give one single moments thought about their situations and needs?

Answer? I shouldn’t, I don’t, and I’m not fucking going to.

So in summation, fuck those people and fuck everyone who looks like them too…just to be safe.

As a follow up to my previous post about the complete fucking absurdity of Prince Harry being within 100 yards of any sort of real conflict in Afghanistan, I humbly present the following…

Harry returns home…

Prince Harry returns home from Afghanistan

A defiant Prince Harry has arrived back in Britain this morning after a media leak led to him being withdrawn 10 weeks into a 14-week tour of duty in Afghanistan

The 23-year-old second Lieutenant in the Household Cavalry touched down in a military plane at the Royal Air Force base at Brize Norton in central England, where he was met by his father, the Princes of Wales, and his brother, Prince William. Prince Harry returned home after a news blackout about his deployment to Afghanistan broke The plane landed at about 11.30am (GMT) and several dozen soldiers emerged before the Prince. Prince Harry is one of about 170 soldiers to arrive back in the UK from Afghanistan today. Wearing combat fatigues and carrying his kit and body armour, the Prince filed down the steps of the jet with his comrades. There was no official welcome on the tarmac and the troops made their way to the terminal building. The Prince left Afghanistan on a flight on Friday evening amid concerns he would be a target for extremists if he stayed. Meanwhile, there are reports today that Prince William - second in line to the throne - will deployed on board a warship after his Royal Navy training later this year. Before he boarded his flight, Prince Harry was moved from his base, only 500 yards from Taliban enemy lines in the volatile Helmand Province, to a secret and secure location after his presence in Afghanistan was leaked on an American web site. Taliban insurgents have threatened to step up attacks on British forces after the news broke of Prince Harry’s secret deployment in the war zone. A Taliban spokesman Zabihullah Mujahid said that his presence in Helmand Province meant that the Royal Family had joined in the “aggression against Muslims”. “Prince Harry’s presence in Afghanistan encourages our fighters to launch more attacks on British forces. We think Prince Harry has been sent to Afghanistan only to boost the sagging morale of the British forces which are in serious trouble. For us he is just part of occupation forces. Instead of killing innocent people, the Prince should try to influence the British government to withdraw troops from Afghanistan.” The decision to bring Prince Harry back to Britain for his own safety was taken by Air Chief Marshal Sir Jock Stirrup, the Chief of the Defence Staff. The Prince will go back to the Household Cavalry barracks at Windsor and keep a low profile over the coming weeks. Speaking in Afghanistan about his future, the Prince said: “I don’t want to sit around in Windsor. But I generally don’t like England that much and, you know, it’s nice to be away from all the press and the papers and all the general s***e they write.”

So yeah, what the fuck happened to all that “he’s just like any other citizen, he’s being treated like any other soldier!” bullshit?

He was removed from Afghanistan due to concerns about his safety…well what about the fucking safety of every other man and woman currently stationed in Afghanistan?

When will they be brought home “amid concerns for their well-being”?

Fucking hypocritical motherfuckers.

I told you that Prince Harry would leave Afghanistan with nothing more severe then a sunburn…and it looks like he didn’t even stay long enough to develop one of those.

And let’s talk about this “leak” in a newspaper that prompted his return…

Does anyone really think that shit might just possibly be a little fucking suspicious??

He’s all gung-ho to go, and possibly his personal motives are pure…surely every Windsor isn’t a colossal prick, his Dad’s totally cool with it, even the Queen is on board.

What a great way for the Royal Family to show that they’re in this right along with the rest of the world!

But see, they were totally willing to put their son into harms way…but we fucked it up.

That’s right, this is all OUR fault.

Fucking typical.

So I come home from work, boot up the Dell Inspiron 531, launch Firefox and am greeted with what I consider to be a piece of bullshit of such size that it’s truly Biblical in proportion…

Behold, the greatest piece of complete and utter bullshit I have seen in the last 6 months.

I’m attaching a link to the complete story, but for the purposes of brevity I’m only going to highlight the most bullshitty pieces.

Click here for the complete “story”.

UK officials: Prince Harry serving on front line in Afghanistan

LONDON (AP) - Prince Harry has been deployed to fight Taliban forces in one of Afghanistan’s most lawless and barren provinces, Britain’s Ministry of Defense said Thursday.

His tour is arguably the most dangerous undertaken by any royal in recent times.

British military officials had hoped to keep the 23-year-old’s deployment secret until he had returned safely. But following a leak on the U.S. Web site the Drudge Report, video and interviews recorded with the young royal in Afghanistan’s restive Helmand Province and in Britain before his departure were released.

“I got here on Christmas Eve and going from bullet magnet to anti-bullet magnet, most of the guys were pretty bummed that I was here because nothing was happening for the first few days that I was here but things are picking up again now because it’s obviously quite boring when nothing is happening,” Harry said after he arrived in Afghanistan.

He threatened to quit the army if he was not given the chance to see combat.

But then his grandmother, Queen Elizabeth II, delivered the news.

“She told me I’m off to Afghanistan so that was the way it was supposed to be,” he said in an interview in Afghanistan, his hair coated with dust and his face in stubble. “She was very ‘pro’ me going then so I think she’s relieved that I get the chance to do what I want to do,” he said. He says he tries to phone home once a week.

Harry said his older brother, William, who also graduated from Sandhurst, is jealous of his deployment. William, the second in line for the throne, is unlikely to see such front line action.

Harry, 23, has been fighting in Helmand province, where most of the 7,800 British troops in Afghanistan are based. The province has been the scene of some the fiercest violence in Afghanistan in recent years.

Harry’s work in Afghanistan has involved calling in airstrikes on Taliban positions, as well as going out on foot patrols. He has spent part of his deployment at an operating base just 500 meters (yards) from Taliban positions, the military said.

During his deployment, Harry’s battle group has been responsible for around 30 enemy kills, a defense ministry official said, speaking on condition of anonymity in line with department policy.

“It’s bizarre,” he said. “I’m out here now, haven’t really had a shower for four days, haven’t washed my clothes for a week and everything seems completely normal. .. It’s nice just to be here with all the guys and just mucking in as one of the lads.”

“He has been fully involved in operations and has run the same risks as everyone else in his battle group,” Dannatt said.

Prime Minister Gordon Brown said “the whole of Britain will be proud of the outstanding service he is giving.”

Video extracts of Harry in Afghanistan showed Harry - his red hair caked in dust - dressed in camouflage fatigues patrolling arid and dusty terrain, calling in air support, firing a machine gun and patrolling the streets of Garmsir, the southernmost part of the province and just 500 yards (meters) from Taliban trenches.

Harry had trained as a tank commander. After the decision not to send him to Iraq, he retrained as a battlefield air controller, the job he has been filling in Afghanistan.

British troops have seen heavy fighting against a resurgent Taliban in Helmand, and 89 British troops have died there since the start of operations in 2001.

If anyone out there reading this honestly believes that Prince Harry is in any danger whatsoever then please, do me a favor…stop reading and go directly to the Fox News website.

If Prince Harry comes out of Afghanistan with anything other then a severe sunburn then it’ll be a fucking miracle.

Let’s see…Power Punch Hulk with “Power Smash Attack”? Check.

Abomination with “steel” pipe weapon? Check.

Mega Clap Hulk…Check.

Wait, what?

Mega Clap Hulk? Are you fucking kidding me?

It does make sense though, the Hulk doesn’t get the regular clap…he’s gets Mega Clap!

I don’t even want to know what kind of treatment schedule they’ve got the Hulk on.

Good luck explaining that one to your 8 year old.