Cinlach’s Incoming Searches (NEW! 3/22/08)

This is a listing of search terms that brought viewers to my site…someone really wants to see “Pairs Helton fucking”. Why? I have absolutely no goddamn clue.

But enjoy this brief glimpse of internet depravity and what people are looking for when they stumble upon Cinlach’s Place.

My comments will appear in italics for your amusement.

3/22/08
the fucking torture machine Jesus, my visitors really are fucking weird.

hardcard fucking How in the hell do you fuck a hardcard? Of course I will admit it’d probably be a lot easier then trying to fuck a softcard but that’s beside the point.

toilet seat controversy It’s a damned toilet seat…where does the controversy come into play? Does the toilet seat in question have connection to organized crime, a racist group, pedophilia, or a high priced governmental call girl? If not, I question the validity of any “controversy”.

fucked in hospital I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that if you’re in the hospital, then you’re most assuredly either have been fucked, are currently fucked, or will be fucked by the time you’re released.

she took him to the doctor to be snipped Well in her defense, he probably deserved it.

“ed anderson” unicycle I just report ‘em folks, explaining them isn’t within my power to accomplish.

masterbate with heels Goddamn, doesn’t that just sound painful? I mean, I’d prefer to use something a little more “forgiving” if you don’t mind.

pussy shot from waiting Again, how a “pussy shot” might occur from “waiting” is beyond my scope of comprehension. It’s been my experience that if you’re waiting for a “pussy shot” you might be there awhile. Remember, fortune favors the bold. If you want a “pussy shot” that badly then just ask for it…maybe you’ll get lucky.

09/13/06
free sex move Someone’s a moron…virtually all “sex moves” are free. Unless you’re with a hooker.

Indianapolis Biohazard cleanup Holy crap! Sounds like this might not be the best time to consider relocating to Indiana.

she checked my prostate Uh…ok, congrats I guess.

Bertha Albertson Don’t ask me man…I don’t have a clue what that’s about.

trace adkins torrent Are they investigating killing him via drowning? In that case I’m all for it.

karma is the fucking shit I gotta agree with ya there…it is the shit indeed.

“matt kenseth” toupee I knew NASCAR drivers would pitch anything but does Matt Kenseth actually have his own line of hairpieces?

He fucked Sally Bad news chuckles…he probably wasn’t the only one.

chick’s masterbate Is this chicken porn or is this person simply an idiot?

my doctor fucked me Either you’re pleased with the service or you’re not…so which is it?

place to masterbate Listen people…you don’t need to look up places to masterbate, you can do it anywhere. That’s why it’s like a gift from the baby Jesus.

michael bay fucked up transformers Amen my brother…preach it.

giant crock Sometimes I feel exactly the same way.

gretchen wilson sucks Ya think so? How about we file that away under “fucking obvious”.

“deviled egg sandwiches” Don’t surf hungry!

04/22/06
where did jj yeley go to highschool Who the fuck cares?

naked pictures of Paris Helton OK, listen up…the bitch is named PARIS HILTON…if you don’t even know her name, you can’t possibly want to see her naked that bad. If you did then you’d be intelligent enough to realize you’d have a MUCH better chance of seeing her naked if you did a websearch and spelled her fucking name right. Ya dumbass.

04/18/06
hot fucking bitchs With an attitude like that I guarantee this asshole is single.

dealing with assholes in the waiting room HA! Ok, that’s actually information we could all use.

masterbation silk shirt So is this masterbating with a silk shirt or watching a silk shirt masterbate?

04/14/06
kate o-face 2 video (Kate who I wonder? Kate Hepburn perhaps?)

grandmother + grandfather porno fucking (Ewww…someone’s a sick son of a bitch.)

04/13/06
pairs helton (Sigh…this motherfucker needs to find a weight bearing beam, wrap a belt around it and his neck and save us from his fucking stupidity.)

fucking handicap wife (Yea…why the hell doesn’t she just get over herself already?)

fuck kurt busch (Well said…fuck Kurt Busch indeed.)

04/12/06
gwen stefani smoker (I might be guilty of harboring many desires for Gwen Stefani but I can confidently say I’ve never once wanted to “smoke” her.)

paris helton fucked hard (Of course they’re fucking her hard…they want it over as soon as possible.)

04/10/06
high heel shoe masterbation (How do you masterbate a high heel shoe anyway? I guess you’d work the heel until it’s tongue rolled out. Yeah, I said it…sue me)

“Scarfing” pics masterbate (What the fuck is wrong with you people?)

fuck mom surround (Part of me is curious…the other part is terrified)

04/09/06
the paris helton porno (I think the “the” might be unnesessary, that bitch has fucked more dudes on camera then Nikki Dial.)

Helton getting fucked hard (Mike Helton, the big burly head of NASCAR? That’s just gross.)

04/07/2006
alyssa milano dressed up like a schoolgirl (Hey now…I can actually agree with that one.)

paris helton porno (You might have better luck if you spell her name right…I wholeheartedly believe that if you don’t know a woman’s name then you have no business watching her blow a total stranger.)