To the Chicken Shit Commentators…

Advance warning…this post will only make sense to about 5 people total, many apologies for the exclusivity contained herein.

Dear Chicken Shit Commentators,

I’d like to take a moment to say sincerely, and with all the feeling that my cold, blackened little heart can muster…FUCK YOU.

You’ve been whining, crying, plotting, and scheming for years and now you finally got it. A great person is no longer with us and I’m sure you’re thrilled shitless.

So let me take this opportunity to lay a little challenge out for your worthless asses…now is the time to step up and show us all what you can do!

I mean, isn’t the person who’s now gone the sole reason for your decent into obscurity? Isn’t that person responsible for you’re being “passed over” in favor of someone else?

Well they’re not in the picture anymore baby! So let’s see you step the fuck up and put your motherfucking money where your motherfucking mouth is.

No, really…I’m being totally serious. Take one step forward, and let’s see you implement all these great ideas you’ve been forced to sit on for the last 5 years.

You know, the ones that would improve productivity based on banning excessive gum snapping, audible ice chewing, and noisy cellphone vibration settings. I’m sure once you finally get your say in how things will be run the whole company will magically turn around and become a real life version of Walt Disney land.

The sun will always shine brightly, the birds will always sing sweetly, children will laugh and play, and rose petals will fall from the sky. It’ll be a paradise on earth, a place of joy everlasting…and all shall recognize your greatness, and how unjustly you were pushed aside by the evils of “them”.

So come on bitches, prove yourselves!

It’s not even remotely possible that you could be just a bunch of hot air spewing, bullshit posturing assholes…is it?

But wait…is that hesitation I sense? Are you not ready to ascend unto greatness? Haven’t you been preparing for this very day? The day that you, the worthiest of us all…finally get to stand on the mountaintop and lead the charge into battle.

I mean, this is what you’ve wanted all along right?

Seriously then, step the fuck up then and let’s see those leadership qualities you’ve been forced to contain by the injustices of “them”.

You people are so completely full of shit…the whole fucking bunch of you. If this person stays, they’re an asshole…if they complain about the situation we all find ourselves in, they’re an asshole…and if they decide they’ve had enough and move on with their lives, they’re an asshole.

I submit this for consideration, I humbly submit that YOU are the asshole here, not them.

So please, if you can somehow manage to tear yourselves away from leaving punk-ass anonymous comments on the Greenville News website then by all means let’s see you back up all that talk with some fucking action.

I dare you.

You know, unless you’re afraid of confirming what most everyone already knows about you, that you’re an incompetent, bumbling pack of jackasses who’re only capable of sowing discord while hiding behind an anonymous complaint to HR or a carefully obscured website comment.

If we’d had the misfortune of having you in charge over the past years we’d be so completely fucked right now that it’d make our current situation look like a fucking summer camp picnic.

So, I guess what I’m really trying to say here is “FUCK YOU”.

FUCK YOU and your self-righteous attitude.

FUCK YOU and all your constant scheming and plotting.

FUCK YOU and your unwarranted and undeserved self-importance.

FUCK YOU and your pack of slathering sycophant cronies.

Basically, FUCK YOU and everything you stand for.

I cannot wait to see how you spin this situation to be the fault of a person who’ll no longer be there to defend themselves. That’s a very brave way to handle the situation I might add…very pussy-esque and very true to form. I’ve got to give you props for being consistent at least.

A someone who, while you were sitting on your fat ass at home licking clean yet another tub of lard, was at the office virtually every weekend away from their family. A someone who gave every ounce of effort they had to make sure we got through the month as planned. A someone who put all they had into everything they did. A someone who put the needs of our customers and the security of their employees ahead of themselves.

A someone who’ll eventually end up at a company who deserves their talents and abilities, and a someone who’ll end up making more money in a month then you bring home in a whole fucking quarter. A someone who’ll come home from work everyday with a sense of accomplishment and pride in the job they did.

All things I doubt you’ll ever get to experience as you lumber through the years left in your “career” as a perpetual victim and a chronic difficulty.

So again, FUCK YOU.

Now before I get accused of being a hypocrite, and of doing the exact same thing as the people I’m so extraordinarily sick to death of, let me say this to my potential detractors…

Unlike those that I’m verbally ripping the throat out of, I have ZERO problem with standing toe to toe with them and unloading point blank with my expletive filled and righteous barrage, and watching those sweet, delectable tears well up in their eyes.

It’d be like a child’s Christmas wish come true…you honestly have no fucking idea.

The difference here is that I, unlike those I’m so extremely upset with, have the decency and common sense to keep that shit out of the office. We don’t need it right now and things are difficult enough as it is without my going off like Hiroshima crossed with a volcano on steroids on someone who, let’s face it, just isn’t worth all the fucking trouble it’d cause.

See, while their mode of operation is to whisper, allude, spread rumors, and basically act like immature 4th graders on a sugar high, my approach is one of quiet disdain and simmering fury. I know the appropriate outlets for my anger and indignation. Perhaps before the end I’ll get a chance to vent a little of the displeasure I feel for them, perhaps not…I’ll survive either way.

But if there is a God out there in the vast Universe around us, he’ll give me the satisfaction of at least finally seeing one or perhaps all of these chuckleheads not only shoot themselves in the foot, but blow the goddamn thing off clear up to their fucking knee.

I understand that they have families, and bills, and blah blah blah. But you know what? I don’t fucking care.

They didn’t care about the ramifications their juvenile and petty behavior might have on everyone else around them, so why exactly should I give one single moments thought about their situations and needs?

Answer? I shouldn’t, I don’t, and I’m not fucking going to.

So in summation, fuck those people and fuck everyone who looks like them too…just to be safe.