The time I met Darth Vader…

As I was talking to some friends today I related a story to them that in all honesty I had completely forgotten.

I mean, I still knew it…I just forgotten that I knew it. Hopefully that makes at least a little sense.

So anyway, it was about the time that I met Darth Vader.

I was 6 years old when the magic of Star Wars entered my life in 1977. Like every other kid in the world at that time I was fucking hooked. I had Star Wars lunchboxes, books, comics, records, toys, posters, pajama’s, bedclothes…everything.

If they had slapped Han Solo’s face on a tube of KY Jelly I would’ve owned it. I wouldn’t have known what the fuck it was or what it was used for…but I would’ve owned that mother fucker just the same.

Me : “Hey Mom!”

Mom : Yes, dear?

Me : What does ‘personal lubricant’ mean?

Mom : Uhhhh…would you like some candy little man?

Me : Candy! Golly…I love candy! What were we talking about?

Mom : You were telling me about how much you love the baby Jesus.

Me : I was?

The Star Wars craze hit such a fervor that Darth Vader, the Dark Lord of the Sith himself, made a personal appearance tour around the country at select stores to promote the toys. One of those stops was at my hometown…Greenville, SC.

My grandfather, who wouldn’t have known a Jedi Knight from a donut, took me to the downtown airport so I could see Darth Vader arrive in town.

I shit you not…Darth Vader flew into town on a fucking Lear jet. There were tons of us standing outside in the oppressive summer heat waiting for a dude in a patent leather outfit and a cape to climb out of a private jet. The local news was even there to film Darth Vader getting off the plane in Greenville.

It retrospect it was probably one of the most surreal things my grandfather had ever experienced.

Finally, Vader’s plane arrived. It taxied up next to the fence, a ramp was rolled up to the door. I was shaking…Darth FUCKING Vader was about to step out of that plane.

The door opened and there was a hulking dark mass looming just inside the plane, out of sight.

Suddenly, out strode Darth Vader…his cape billowing in the wind. I almost pissed on myself. The sun reflected off his gleaming black helmet. His lightsaber hung at his side.

He slowly decended the ramp, waved at us, got in a car, and was driven away.

He was scheduled to make an appearance at a department store downtown so my grandfather and I rushed to get there in time.

When we arrived there were even more people there then at the airport and the line extended out of the store and into the street. There was talk about cutting the line off, that maybe everyone who had come wasn’t going to get to meet Vader. I was crushed…I had to see him. I had to meet Darth Vader.

I remember my grandfather telling me “Don’t you worry baby…Papa’s gonna get you in to see Darth Vader”

So we waited and waited and the line got shorter and shorter. Eventually we made it inside and pretty soon I could see HIM. Sitting on a small stage, surrounded by children and adults was Darth Vader.

Then, almost as if by magic…it was my turn.

I slowly stepped forward. I was still shaking from the heat and the excitement. There, looming before me was Darth Vader. I could see my face reflected in his mask. I could hear the leather suit as he moved…Darth Vader was real. He was alive and I was standing 3 feet from him.

Suddenly, all the evil shit Vader had done in the movie flashed before my eyes.

Holy Shit! This was Darth Vader. The villian who had killed Ben Kenobi, who had betrayed and destroyed the Jedi Knights. The man who had killed Luke’s father, and tried to kill Luke himself. This was a man who had killed a man with his bare hands and thrown his lifeless body aside like a ragdoll. This was a man who could choke you using only the power of the Dark Side. A man who carried a lightsaber and who’s heart was as black as the armor he encased himself in.

As I stood there…staring into the face of what was up to that point the most evil and cruel thing I’d ever been exposed to, I suddenly found myself not happy or excited. Oh no…I was afraid.

More then afraid…I was fucking terrified. This man had killed people, millions of people, a whole fucking planet…he was evil incarnate, and I was standing so close to him that I could smell him.

He reached for me…and I screamed.

Ok, so that’s pretty pussy now I know…but fuck, I was 6 and standing in front of Darth Vader. Fantasy and reality were new concepts for me. Mom and Dad had told me the things I saw on TV and the movies weren’t real, that it was all make-believe. Well if that was true then how could I be standing in front of Darth Vader? If Vader was real then all the things he did were real too, right?

Vader got up from his chair and stepped towards me, his hand still reaching for me…I screamed and begged for help. I begged for someone to help me…for someone to save me from Darth Vader.

And then suddenly, something was in front of me. Someone was between me and Vader, shielding me…protecting me. My grandfather, god bless him, had leapt between me and Vader. He was inches from Vader, standing between us.

I cried harder now. This was all my fault, now my Papa was going to get hurt by Vader and it was all my fault. What could he do, what could my Papa do to stop Darth Vader? Was he crazy? All i could think was that I didn’t want to see my Papa hurt by Darth Vader. I remember begging Vader “Please don’t hurt my Papa…please don’t hurt my Papa.”

Vader looked at me, and then stared at my grandfather.

With a power in his voice I had never heard before my grandfather commanded Vader… “Sit down…stay away from him.”

Vader looked at me, then looked at my grandfather…and slowly backed away.

My grandfather reached down, scooped me into his arms and took me home.

I can’t begin to tell you what that memory does to me…it’s all kinda silly now, but my grandfather had become something I had never thought about him being before.

He was my hero.

He saved me from what I thought was almost certain death. He stood up to the most terrifying thing I’d ever met. He’d not only stood up to it but he had made Darth Vader back down.

Darth Vader didn’t want to fuck with my grandfather…and I had never loved him so much in my entire life.

He’s performed that act many, many times…always standing between me and anyone who dared to threaten me. Ever since that day he’s been my hero…the person I want to be more then anything else in the world.

I still love him, more then words can say. I go to sleep every night and wake up every morning and hope that at 35 years old I can still grow up to be half the man that he is. I’m still coming up pretty fucking short to be honest. But I’ll tell you one thing…I’d stand between him and Darth Vader any day.

I owe him that and more.