Goodbye Uncle John…

My family is fucked up.

What’s that? How fucked up are they? See if you can wrap your head around this one…

My grandfather’s twin brother John died on Wednesday. His wife called my grandfather on Saturday to inform him.

“Oh I just remembered I hadn’t told you…your brother is dead. Have a good weekend!”

Now, before you start to feel all sad for me I want you to realize something. I’m 34 years old and I’ve never met this man.

Not one fucking time.

He lives in town.

My mother hasn’t spoken to him in over 40 years.

Did I mention he lives in town?

He basically decided way back in the din of antiquity that he wanted nothing to do with his family. He literally told his sister that if any of them died he didn’t want to be notified and he certainly wouldn’t be coming to the funeral. He also told her that when he died he didn’t want them coming to his funeral either.

That my friends is some hardcore shit.

Uncle John was a very wealthy individual. He married into money and was apparantly ashamed to have come from such humble roots. He was also an alcoholic who had his license suspended so many times for DUI’s that he was banned from ever having a drivers license again.

As of this writing I’m not sure if his own fucking children know that he’s dead. I would love to be at the will reading though…I bet they all get shafted after having to put up with his cranky ass for their entire lives. That would rock!

My response when my mother told me?

“Well I’m sure Satan has a nice warm spot set up for the old cocksucker…here’s to one less asshole on the planet.”

The news did start me to wondering though. Was he ashamed of us or was he ashamed of himself.

I mean, what a sad way to go through life…worshipping material things, always worried about what other people’s opinions about you are, trying to maintain a perfect image, a virtual slave to your career…all the while hiding a consuming addiction, a loveless home and a dead soul. Death would almost be a release from such a hellish existence…well that’s my view anyway.

See, I’m a simple guy. Not simple as in I drool on myself when I tie my shoes, but simple in that I just don’t get caught up in all the unimportant useless shit that fills our world.

I’m not going to lie to you and say that I wouldn’t love to drive a Ferrari to work every morning while wearing a $2000 Armani suit, but I’m not going to suck a big corporate dick everyday for 9 hours and whore myself out to do it. I’ve got something that I think is much more valuable then anything that can be bought, sold, traded or acquired…and that’s self respect. Besides how cool can you look while driving in your Ferrari if you’ve got corporate spunk crusted into your fucking eyebrows?

I get up every morning, look at myself in the mirror and I’m not ashamed of what I see. I doubt Uncle John could ever say that. What exactly did all his “success” bring him anyway? He gave up his family in pursuit of the almighty dollar. That sounds like a pretty shitty transaction to me.

So long uncle John…too bad I won’t miss ya.

Kurt. Fucking. Busch

I’m stunned.

Roger Penske is actually going to hire Kurt Fucking Busch to drive Rusty Wallace’s #2 Dodge for 2006.

Jesus christ. The only thing worse then having Kurt Busch in my beloved “Blue Deuce” would be seeing Jeff Gordon driving the car I’ve been pulling for since 1980.

Kurt Busch…What the fuck.

Look at this skinny little punk…

He’s all ears, neck and nose.

I mean was Kurt the best Penske could find to replace Rusty?

Kurt is a primadonna punk…and after today he’s an extraordinarily wealthy primadonna punk. The contract he signed has supposedly made him the highest paid driver in the sport.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the antics of Kurt Busch, here’s a little synopsis of his infantile behavior…

May 31st, 2005 : After #97-Kurt Busch’s first accident Sunday in the Coca-Cola 600, I [Cup Scene Daily] rushed from the media center to the garage area to see Busch’s car pulling into his stall. A frustrated Busch left the garage area and headed to his hauler to collect his thoughts. In route, right outside the garage, it looked as though he shoved a local TV news cameraman, Mike Thomas, aside. The cameraman felt the incident was no big deal and that he (the cameraman) was simply in the way of a frustrated driver. “It looked like he lowered his shoulder before he hit me, but I don’t think he was trying to do anything on purpose,” Thomas said. “He certainly didn’t say anything to me to make me think I had done something wrong.” Asked about the incident later, NASCAR spokesman Jim Hunter said the incident was a non-issue as far as the sanctioning body goes. “It’s no big deal to (NASCAR)”, said Jim Hunter.(Cup Scene Daily)

May 10th, 2005 : #97-Kurt Busch crashed on the first lap of Saturday’s race at Darlington Raceway, forcing him to retreat to the garage area for repairs. He eventually re-entered the race but later ignored officials’ instructions during a caution period on where he should line up for a restart. Busch was ordered to pit road to serve a penalty. Busch responded with offensive language over his in-car radio communications system, revved his engine when officials ordered him to shut his car off and threw a water bottle that hit an official standing in his pit area. Roush Racing President Geoff Smith says Busch was frustrated by the crash, which left him nursing a damaged, uncompetitive car around a narrow, difficult track for the rest of the night to gain championship points. Smith says Busch lost his temper after officials assessed a penalty Smith called “questionable. So he fought it — and lost, of course,” Smith says. Smith doesn’t expect Busch to receive further penalties from NASCAR this week. “I think he is definitely aware of where he stands today,” NASCAR vice president of communications Jim Hunter said in an e-mail. “Without going into any further detail, he certainly knows NASCAR is not going to tolerate any future temper tantrums. President Mike Helton made our position very clear.” Says Smith: “He’s now on notice. So if there’s anything else, there’s going to be a penalty associated with it.”(USA Today)

May 28th, 2004 : #16-Greg Biffle said he’s ready to put his incident with Roush Racing teammate #97-Kurt Busch in the NASCAR Nextel All-Star Challenge behind them, but made no apologies Thursday for being upset by the bump from Busch that ignited a multi-car crash. “I think getting wrecked on the straightaway by your teammate certainly would be something to set a guy off,” Biffle said. “That would be like your neighbor burning down your house by accident - you’re going to be upset.” Biffle said he and Busch talked on Monday. “He felt really bad about what happened,” Biffle said. “He wrecked a lot of cars besides ours … and that wasn’t the outcome he planned. He misjudged by a lot and he’s got to personally pay the price for that himself. There’s nothing I can do about it. It’s Kurt’s problem. … We’ve got to race as if last week didn’t happen. Otherwise we’re going to handicap ourselves going forward.” Busch once again took the blame for the incident. “It was just a stupid mistake on my part,” Busch said.

October 30th, 2003 : #97-Kurt Busch has had his “hard card” - an annual credential used to gain access at tracks - revoked by NASCAR for the remainder of the season as punishment for an incident on pit road during the Oct. 19 race at Martinsville. The move doesn’t affect Busch’s participation in Cup races, but the absence of a hard card does add several inconveniences during a race weekend. Each Friday, including this week at Phoenix International Raceway, Busch must sign in at the NASCAR registration hauler outside the track and receive paper credentials. He then must take those to Winston Cup series director John Darby, who will issue Busch a hot pass good for the weekend. Busch must return the pass after the race on Sunday. “Our president, Mike Helton, is trying to make a point,” said Jim Hunter, NASCAR’s vice president for corporate communications. “We need to do what is necessary to get Kurt’s attention.” After his #97 Ford blew its engine during the Martinsville race, Busch came down pit road and spun in his own oil. He then spun several more times while pit crew members worked on other drivers’ cars. NASCAR officials called Busch, his crew chief, Jimmy Fennig, and owner, Jack Roush, to the NASCAR hauler after the race, but Busch failed to attend. Busch claimed he did not know of the meeting, NASCAR sources said. NASCAR rescheduled the meeting with Busch for last Friday at Atlanta Motor Speedway and had it coincide with the start of Winston Cup practice. Busch missed most of the practice session while attending the meeting, which was directed by Helton, NASCAR sources said. It was during that meeting that Busch turned over his hard card and had to go outside the track and receive paper credentials for the rest of the Atlanta race weekend. Roush Racing officials were unavailable for comment Thursday afternoon. Busch was expected to arrive at the track sometime Thursday or Friday morning. Hunter said he could not recall a driver ever having his hard card revoked previously. Some drivers’ hard cards have been confiscated when they were suspended.(ThatsRacin.com)

August 20th, 2003 : Winston Cup driver Kurt Busch made disparaging remarks toward Jimmy Spencer over the radio during last Sunday’s race at Michigan, including an admission he tried to “flatten the … fender” of Spencer’s car, according to a transcript of Busch’s radio conversations with his team. The transcript, obtained by ThatsRacin.com, and the radio version obtained by Speed Channel, covers an exchange Busch made over his radio with his team on Lap 135 of 200. Following the race, Busch stopped his #97 Ford in front of Spencer’s team hauler. Spencer pulled his #7 Dodge in behind Busch, got out of his car and after the two traded obscenities, punched Busch while he was still sitting in his car. On Monday, NASCAR suspended Spencer through Aug. 26, fined him $25,000 and placed him on probation through the end of the year. Busch was also placed on probation. Local authorities in Michigan are still investigating the incident. Both teams appealed the punishments. Spencer’s appeal will be heard at 8:30 a.m. today in Bristol, Tenn., site of Saturday night’s Sharpie 500. Roush’s appeal had not been set as of Tuesday night.
When informed of Busch’s remarks Tuesday night, Jim Hunter, NASCAR’s vice president for corporate communications, issued the following statement: “We will let the process run its course. … I am sure the commission will be very thorough and I am sure they will have all the pertinent information.”
While Sunday’s race was under caution on Lap 135 and Busch riding on the backstretch, the following exchange took place, which could be picked up on Busch’s team’s scanner frequency:
Busch: “See, I’m not very good at being bad. I was trying to flatten the seven car fender and I got mine. I needed to be further forward on his car.”
Response from Pit: ” They just showed that on TV. You just missed by about an inch or two Ah, not far enough forward.”
Busch: “Inches only count unless you’re playing Horseshoes and hand grenades. Ah, I don’t wanna play either with that clown.”
Response from Pit: “I hear ya, man.”

April 7th, 2003 : Kurt Busch and Tony Stewart met after the race to discuss their incident. Busch and Greg Biffle got together and sent Busch into Stewart’s car on lap 90. Stewart banged the wall and had to go to the garage for repairs. He returned to finish 25th. Busch placed 19th. “He ended up on my outside when Biffle pinched me up against him,” Busch said of Stewart. “It was like I ended up running into him purposely; it was just an accident.” Stewart was unavailable for comment after the race.(Roanoke Times) AND as seen on Speed Channel’s NASCAR Victory Lane, Busch squirted Stewart as the two walked away from each other after Stewart confronted Busch about the incident that put Tony in the wall. Stewart basically did not react or notice.

March 25th, 2003 : Kurt Busch and Jimmy Spencer had two on-track confrontations last season — one at Bristol and another at Indianapolis Motor Speedway. After the Indy wreck, Busch called Spencer a “decrepit old has-been,” and Spencer failed to qualify for the next race. Busch, apparently, is still gloating. “I was real happy when things came to a close at Watkins Glen, when he went home and missed the show,” Busch said Sunday. “Indianapolis was a tough thing. I put myself in position to wreck and he wrecked me, and he missed the show at Watkins Glen, so I put a period on the end of the whole incident there.”(USA Today

February, 12th, 2003 : After a string of outbursts last season over different racing incidents, Roush Racing sent driver Kurt Busch to a management training seminar to learn to deal with people better.(Roanoke Times/AP)

July 7th, 2002 : #97-Kurt Busch had on one-lap penalty for passing under caution turn into a four-lap nightmare during Saturday night’s Pepsi 400. During a pit stop early in the race while trying to enter his pit stall, Busch collided with Robby Gordon, who was exiting his pit. Busch received some damage to his #97 Ford and had to pit again, but ran the stop paddle at the end of pit toad. Incensed at getting the one-lap penalty, Busch ripped off a tirade of words over his radio directed toward NASCAR officials. NASCAR didn’t take kindly to the words and issued a three-lap penalty for “unsportsmanlike conduct on the radio.(ThatsRacin.com)

Are you seeing the pattern yet?!? Kurt Busch is a total assclown and doesn’t deserve to be on the same racetrack as men like Rusty Wallace…much less taking over their ride.

The thought of Kurt Busch and his childish, juvenile, disrespectful ass with the team that Rusty Wallace has made famous over the last 15 years makes me literally sick to my stomach.

I mean, why didn’t they try to hire the Antichrist…I’m sure he’d love the attention that NASCAR can offer and at least we all know going in that he’s a bigger asshole then Kurt Busch will ever be.

Kurt fucking Busch…I just cannot fucking believe it.

It’ll be really hard to not pull for that blue #2…but I suppose I’ll have to get used to it.

Another one bites the dust.

Once again, my company has lost a cool person.

They weren’t fired or anything like that…there were no “labor savings found”…how’s that for the most insulting way to refer to firing someone…”we’ve made a labor savings.”

Instead this person managed to escape on their own. Moving to Boston I believe…they shall be missed.

I’ve been accused of becoming “withdrawn” when it comes to the new people at work. Let me tell you there’s a good damn reason for doing so. My employers have an annoying habit of hiring someone and they letting them go after about 6 months and to be honest I got tired of making friends only to see them get treated like an out of date carton of milk.

It hurt seeing people I liked getting shit on. That’s right…I have feelings, believe it or not.

So I’m cautious when attaching to people that I work with…is that a good thing or a bad thing…I only know it works for me, right or wrong.

Courtney was someone who seemed really cool and someone I would’ve enjoyed hanging out with at work but my “distance rule” was in effect and I kept her at arms length. Maybe that was my mistake.

So like I said, someone cool has left the office. But she left on her terms and not theirs…and that’s something to be proud of.

She mentioned once she had a blog but silly me never asked where it was so I’ve got no way of finding it now.

Maybe someone can link a brother up.

Did you know that in Spanish, vomit translates to “Vómito”?

This kid is now officially my hero.

Officials Unsure How To Punish Vomiting Teen

OLATHE, Kan. — A Kansas teenager has been sentenced to clean up vomit in police cars.

But officers in Johnson County aren’t sure how they’ll carry out the sentence.

The 17-year-old boy was convicted of vomiting on his Spanish teacher on purpose.

A judge ordered the teen to perform clean-up duty for four months anytime someone gets sick in a patrol car.

But police in Overland Park note they often have a biohazard company clean up vomit, if there’s a possibility of disease.

Overland Park police spokesman Jim Weaver wants to know if they’re going to have to give the kid a biohazard suit.

But local police officials say they’ll work with the county court in making sure the sentence is carried out in an appropriate manner.

Talk about passion, dedication and pure balls!

We’ve all had teachers we’ve wanted to humiliate in one shape or another, but did any of us actually decide to do somthing about it?

I don’t mean talking shit about them when they’re not around or any of that other amateurish nonsense.

I’m talking about taking the fight right to their fucking doorstep.

This one kid in Kansas has done what none of us ever had the stones to do…he shouldn’t be cleaning patrol cars…we should give this guy a national holiday in remembrance of his selfless act of disobedience.

We’ve all had to sit helpless in their classes for hours at a time as they regurgitate their state sponsored rhetoric at us…it was about time that someone returned the favor.

Vómito my oppressed brother!

Vómito!